That Telephone Call…
Like a mild rash in the nether regions, we have all got it at one point or another. At all odd hours, odd situations – “Hello, Good evening sir/ma’am, would you like a credit card/loan/phone connection…they are like spam in your mailbox except that unlike spam they arrive at the most inauspicious of occasions.
I remember reading somewhere that the telephone was invented about three decades or so after the bath tub (don’t ask me where I find such stuff). I sure as hell doubt its authenticity but the point made was very relevant. It said that for about thirty years you could step into a warm comfortable bath without the telephone going off! Read more
Nightspots – What makes them tick?
The human species is possibly the best standing example of that eternal cycle of life and death. Nothing else showcases this chronological phenomenon better; well, nothing except nightclubs. They have a similar cycle but it moves much faster – like those fast forwarded clips they often show on Nature channels where the sun rises and sets in a matter of seconds (Time Lapse shots – for those who know and should now know that I too know).
I am not a celebrity so I can’t say that I am reporting first hand; more like an acquaintance of a friend who attended told me: but in this age of information and technology, such data can be treated as first-hand information, right? Or have I been inside my office far too long?
Say what you may, you can’t miss the splash on the pages. The prime minister shakes an opportune hand with the US and gets a massive cold; someone operated and saved the oldest Siamese twins, disjoint only on their political views…All humbug! A new night spot just opened and briefly seen were two actresses from upcoming films with lots of nudity (in the film that is) in hunky male company (at the club that is) – Carry on tabloid, we are all tuned in and listening… Read more
Chinese martial arts Vs. Porn
When I was in school, martial art films were the only thing Chinese on the market. Albeit dubbed, they also formed a clear majority of ‘English films’ that made it to the city in VHS format.
Many in my age group then had a major love for these films: the language was barely comprehensible, the action was great, the stunts real and one didn’t really have to bother with who was playing the main character.
Ten years on, teenage times, and the action on tape had turned a tad more carnal. Funnily though, and I only recently awakened to this odd similarity, these films of the flesh were not much unlike Chinese martial art films. Read more
Preparing for death – Ills beyond the will!
I have never had an ugly dream where I got up in the middle of the night sweating and palpitating. I would like to though, would make me feel like that guy in the “November Rain” video. Statistics have shown that most such people were having nightmares about being trapped, suffocation, arranged marriages, free-falling…mostly, deathly dreams without the ability to do anything about it except to get more scared till such time when they shocked themselves awake!
The good thing is that this made many swear off marriage. Almost all of them even managed to go back to sleep. I couldn’t. Reading about such stuff put one thing in my head – death, when it comes, comes without a warning. No save-the-date cards, no placemarkers – just pure stiffness and numbness all over all of a sudden. Read more
Technology Enhanced Festivals
There are very few things that can get me worked up to the point where I can break anything I strike, including my hand, and with each passing festival, I am finding it more and more difficult to buy health insurance!
There was a time – I wasn’t alive then; even my dad says he has only heard of that glorious era – when festivals and celebration were exactly as the dictionary defined them. People took time out from their daily rut to visit the near and dear ones: gifts were presented with much a personal touch and, more importantly, true affection. People stepped out of their houses to greet and welcome neighbours and friends into their homes and there was a true sense of warmth and enjoyment. Festivities lasted for almost a week around the day of the festival itself. Read more
Keeping Up With The Jains
Starting from the era of Adam & Eve right up till Armageddon cometh, we mortals pay for all we consume. I remember a time from a previous life when people were happy drinking whatever was classified as intoxicant; and if it could power some medieval form of transport, all the better!
Lately the scene has changed. More people are asking what exactly is in there glass; will it kill them or send them flying, and all this at what cost? It started with the more common whiskey and beer and gradually drained into wine. So much that even fellow Indians everywhere are up in arms and happy hours, inquiring apropos their evening elbow-exercise. Read more
The Great South African Round-up
Recently, I was fortunate enough to spend some quality time in South Africa where we got plenty of time to get to know each other better. There was chemistry, attraction, serendipity even controversy…all the makings of a successful relationship. Overall, there was much to explore and I, as usual, felt extremely short on time. As a result, I would urge you to treat none of my views as final; more in-the-making if anything; as I always like things to be. A read through this may not make you a Cape Wine Master (such may be out of the grasp of many as it is) but it should definitely give you enough grounding and juice to be able to hold your own if accosted by the Pinotage Association of Disgruntled Winemakers (if they aren’t disgruntled yet, they are yet to read on further below).
Sliding on, this is what I have come to learn about this lovely winemaking country.
Being a Sommelier
Being a Sommelier
This is perhaps the most frequent query I receive through all medium of communication – even in naughty SMSs! So I am re-stating the often-stated, yet once again, encore! Geez, talk about redundancies…
Let me also emphasize that this is primarily to those who want to become sommeliers and work in the field. For someone who is merely interested in wine, this may not be entirely applicable as, since I am trying to help youngsters shaping their vinous careers, I am extremely strict about the institutes I will recommend.
Read more
Are We Being Served??
The world is full of places and institutions that we collectively refer to as the hospitality industry – bars, cafes, restaurants, hotels, motels – all are a dot on the hospitality map. Hospitality itself can be defined as the combination of an array of products (tangible) and a series of actions (intangible) which together help facilitate productive and effective employment of one’s time and also to make one feel welcome and at home.
So when we go and buy a meal or a glass of wine we are contributing to the hospitality industry in exchange for services that can and cannot be quantified. A room we hire is a certain size and we can hence calculate how much a hotel charges per square inch of space they rent out. The bottle of water they sell too has a similar measurable cost component. But what about a bed that is always made and the fact that at some places they buff-shine your shoes and arrange your clothes in neat folded piles? What about the steward who always greets you by your name and remembers your favourite dish and the way you like your drinks? There is no defined way of measuring the worth of all such gests and instances which although almost invisible are an intrinsic and important part of the hospitality product.
These are services and for a sceptic like me they remain the most desirable and yet the least offered part of the hospitality component. Are we, the people of an independent democratic republic, really being served?
Wine List Awards & Critics
I don’t get it; for all my limited knowledge I thought we won our independence back in ’47. People laid down lives for the cause; the cause of making our voices heard, making our opinion count and being citizens of the world.
Somehow, when I look at things around me, all that sacrifice seems futile, even lost. Never ever have we been bigger suckers for Western approval than today. Everything we do seems a lot more ‘doable’ if a Western authority (or Western anything) commends or endorses it. We look down upon our own language and a sceptic would easily be inclined to think that we would sooner trade our culture in for a designer hand-bag; I so hope that is not the general case.
But let me not sound so general and long-winded, I upset enough egos with my bluntness as it is. But you see, brevity and softness of delivery are things I am yet to learn the virtue of. What I am really on about is how we, in our naivety, subscribe to views and opinions of people who don’t even know we exist. What Milan considers fashionable may never be considered so in the Indian context. From physical build to our cultural build-up, we are a different lot the world over so it is only natural that what applies in one place may hold no meaning even a few hundred kilometres away.
Wining and Dining in New Delhi
India is (finally) shining. It may not seem like a complete even sheen but it sure does have a certain lustrous appeal about it. It’s the beam of a satiated belly, a good Indian meal downed with some good wine.
No, wait, I am not going to rant about Indian food and wine pairing for 2 reasons: I have bored too many too often with it and secondly, I charge for it.
What I am on about is how restaurants in the capital have upped the ante thus taking local competition to a whole new level. Having reached a certain sense of peak with respect to decor and dining props – cutlery, crockery, freshly flown-in fish et al – the stripes now belong to the one who can slickly and superbly pair off the food with some wine. Gone are the days of Punjabi Chinese and stale Sushi. The new places take every precaution to make sure that you get great food and superb service – supreme satisfaction. But they are still not cheap, who said anything about cheap.
So here is a list of restaurants which I feel are doing a fairly good job of choosing the right food and wine and then making sure that the two come together at the right time on the right table to culminate in unparalleled culinary delight, or big tips, whichever happens first or more often.
On Indian Wines
Of all the things I am accused of, there is one I just don’t seem to be able to get around doing much about: commenting on Indian Wines.
The problem starts from the wide-spread ignorance that Indian wines are good with Indian food. Sounds logical right. If Italian wines pair with pizza and French fit Foie Gras, why shouldn’t Indians wines do justice to our vast Indian cuisine?
If you want a simple answer: because Indian wines aren’t good enough to drink, let alone pair. Outside of 2-3 brands I can’t think of many Indian wines that I would wish on my enemies. They are inconsistent, over-priced and just plain insipid.
I seem to have gone off on one without explaining why. Let me share the reasons for my grief. Trouble is there’s so much to lament I don’t even know where to begin.
As Dry as a Hotel!
English is a constantly evolving language and that is perhaps what makes it so beautiful – even if what you utter today is considered wrong or incorrect or just pure rubbish has a chance of making its way into common parlance over time, and, if Indians catch on to it, into Webster!
So, after phrases like Jumping the shark and Nuking the fridge, get ready for the latest simile on the block: as dry as a hotel.
More precisely, as dry as a hotel owned by a rich Sheikh but that’s just being puritan. In case you haven’t heard, the Hyatt in Cairo recently poured about a million dollars worth of liquor into the Nile. The Saudi Sheikh who owns the place wants to put in place a code of conduct in line with his religion. So the local English pub now serves teas and the likes and the nearby Hard Rock Cafe is the only watering hole in the desert.
Magan on Display
Of all the things i have so far tried, trying to look cool on camera is perhaps my Icarus. I don’t think I will ever quite understand the finer nuances of this art but I have to admit that my prospects at my day job aren’t exactly promising either. Every vino needs a break, even a wine man gets the blues, or reds…
So folks, in vain and in curiosity, I present you, visually, Lisbonnnnnn!
just,
Magan.
You are Here!
Hello World,
If you reading this, well then you are here. It’s perhaps where you intended to be. But there is no porn reward at the end of your perilious search. There are however videos. If any even in part turn you on, seek medical attention.
Voila!
